As I've said many times in the past when getting to this point, I might be the one "filing" but for all intents and purposes, it's Shelly who has made the decision. I don't really feel like I had a chance. Ever. I really thought I did in the beginning (June/July 2014). But that sure as shit didn't last long. Ever since then it's been a constant rollercoaster of ups and downs. Mostly downs.
You can say whatever you want to, but I am so tired of all this bullshit. I'm tired of being lied to. I'm tired of being ignored. In short, I'm tired of sitting here watching it go from bad to worse. It's not even a close call, really. I really couldn't imagine anyone showing more definitively that they don't want or need you in their life. She doesn't care about seeing me/us any more often than every 5-6 weeks. I've been shut out of her life almost completely. And she just doesn't give a flying fuck, as she has demonstrated over and over again.
I think...it's one of the saddest, cruelest things. To sit here and watch a spouse change into something unrecognizable. And still hear things like "Ya'll are my motivation". "I really do hope we can work things out". Blah blah blah. Just a complete steaming pile of bullshit that I've completely wasted my time on. For the last 2.5 goddamn years. Good. I hope she just fucking enjoys the goddamn shit out of it.
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