Thursday, June 19, 2014

I Don't Know

Well, the events of the last week have been somewhat surprising, to say the least.  What isn't surprising is me missing Todd.  The house is just so quiet and so empty.  I can hardly stand it.


Update:  Friday, June 20, 2014 @ 12:49 pm

Predictably, I've been quite the mess this week.  The combination of Todd not being here along with being virtually "home" again for one of the very few times since October...well, that along with the sexual surprise gift from Shelly.  Although that alone has brought back to the forefront some things that I had...virtually all but given up on.

I think it's important to realize that some of the things I may be speaking of in the following paragraphs are not based specifically on things she has said...although a few of them were (when she was wasted off her ass).  She seemed to be pretty impressed with my sexual prowess in the beginning.  And said she missed me...but that was it.  No talk/mention of anything else.  So the things that have come to my mind are just that...from my mind.

The plan is - over the next 9 weeks that Todd has there (DAMN, what happened to the freakin' summer?) - I'm hoping to go up there every few weeks to "see Todd" but of course...seeing both of them.  Trying to come up with some ways to...show that I still care, that I might be possibly worth being with/etc.

Strangely enough, this kind of goes against the grain for me.  After the "Cali incident", I had pretty much convinced myself that I was done.  I still don't know what to think.

Note - will try to update this later with more details.  Specifically, I have spent a lot of time moping around/thinking about "things"...

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