A Few Things I'd Like To Say

About me, Shelly, "us"...and everything.

I've had a thought in the past day.  That once again, I need to get going with shit and just GET IT DONE.  Somehow, someway, fight through a lot of the mental blocks and rationalizations and stupid-ass worrying and try to start putting things together in advance of possibly going up to FTW next week and spending time with Shelly (and Todd) during his Spring Break.  It's not uncommon for me to end up feeling this way.  Trying to put some things together as "evidence" to Shelly that I'm on the right track.  Usually, I fall way short.  Like most situations in this regard, I pile up shitloads of things that I want to get done and I get caught up in one (if not several) things that occupy my time.   Sometimes they are not even related to the most important tasks at hand.  Regardless, I find a way to get sidetracked and end up "dumbing down" the original important list of things to accomplish.  I'm lucky if I end up doing a half-ass job on the one or two things I have left on the list.  Get caught up in things about getting the car in to get the recall items fixed.  Then I have no way to make it to a dental appt that I've already made.  Or the computer breaks down from me doing something absolutely fucking stupid and I spend from 1-7  days fiddlefarting around with whatever it was that caused the problem and getting absolutely pissed about having to spend my already limited about of time trying to fix something that I shouldn't have been messing with in the first place.

However, there have been several things recently that I've thought about that have just about made me convinced that there's no way our issues can ever be resolved, period.

• Shelly's insistence that she be able to do whatever she wants.   And then doing it, regardless of whether I know what's she's doing anyway. Re:  Dating/hooking up with other people.  Hanging out with her buddies?  (In general...always having something other to do than spend any more time with Todd and I than she always does.  For the most part, this ( The first thing that always comes out of her mouth is "You still aren't working".  True.