Nothing is ever going to change. Period. I have known that for some time now. You can dissect it any way you like. Hash and rehash. Think and think some more. Analyze it while furiously smoking cigarettes, shaking your head and alternatively thinking how baffled and angry and confused you are. But it still won't change anything. And since Todd is my responsibility, I need to get it done.
One of Gary's favorite sayings is that the "healing" won't begin until you're divorced. I guess that's true, but I don't forsee any healing for me anytime soon.
I need to focus on:
- Working out
- Quitting smoking
- Eating healthier (for me and Todd)
- Getting my lowers done and the reline for upper
- Todd's health and dental issues resolved
- Finding my destiny after all this
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