But...I've kinda been sitting here today, thinking a little more low key than yesterday's nonstop hashing and rehashing...perhaps something similar to Frankie in one of his famous "Meth-induced hazes"?
But I digress...
It still gives me a sick feeling in my stomach to think about Shelly and what she has become. Up to and including (or perhaps specifically regarding) both Todds. The two people that should be the most important in her life. And she rarely sees either one of us more often than every 5-6 weeks. Obviously...there have been many situations over the ten months to a year + where we have barely been speaking to each other, much less seeing each other. But in Todd's case...she just can't make the time. How many sons does she have? I don't care what she says. It's like we are both invisible. Once we leave her apartment, we exist only in her mind. Like some kind of fantasy. And everyone else lives in her real world. I feel bad enough for how it relates (or related) to me over the past few years. Todd still buys her "I work two jobs" bullshit. I know better. And it's really sad. What's sadder is I think she really believes it herself.
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