Saturday, July 9, 2016

What's Going On?

I really don't know.  The past few weeks...have sucked.  I have been in a complete fog.  I'm not even completely sure that it's limited to the last couple of weeks...but's that's about when I generally started noticing things.  Gary and I had gone to look for cars.  My intent was to research them better, even the Scion after I got home.  But it seemed to be the beginning of a flame-out from the medicine.  I'd been averaging about 4 per day.  Not a lot of sleep.  Then I got some sleep.  There always seems to be some kind of fallout from that.  It hasn't been the same since.  None of the things that I felt good about before...I just don't feel the same.  I feel no fucking drive whatsoever.  I'm sitting around in a goddamn fog.  Every single goddamn fucking day.  I do absolutely fucking nothing.  Knowing that this is a a critical time to get shit done and I just can't get a goddamn fucking thing done.  It's scary, amongst other things.  I mean.  Scary.  Frustrating.  You name it.

I'm in a situation that I don't know what to do.  I need a job. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

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