Well, after all that drama the other day and all my impassioned speeches which apparently at least temporarily averted impeding divorce, I've figured out it's pretty much done anyway. Yeah, it took a little while for it to all sink in. The implications of what she said and the realization of what it means. All this stuff about her not being able to let herself become attached to me again until I was working. Yeah, well that shit just ain't going to work for me. She just hasn't thought this thing through very well. After all we've been through and I had just about given up, the one thing that gave me hope and gave me any reason whatsoever to continue down this path was the way she treated me this summer. I've gone over this in detail, but it made me feel like a part of her life and that I was both wanted and needed. Sexually and otherwise. That disappeared even before the time that I thought initially, which was 3.5 weeks ago when I brought back Todd for school. It really started after I returned from my trip in early August. All that time where she said she was busy with garage sale and move, etc. Now she is saying the same things she did two years ago and treating me virtually the same way, except we are now not living together. I am not fighting that battle anymore. Period. She never understands anything except from her own perspective. She even commented that yes she still missed me "Whenever you aren't being an ass". Why was I being an ass? Because it was driving me crazy that she suddenly did a 180 on the way she was treating me. She knew why she was doing it but refused to tell me until the other day. She had already made up her mind to treat me like that.
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