Confused At The Crossroads

But I really don't think I ought to be.  Whatever I used to think our situation was like, it's never been like this before.  Period.  However, like many times before, I am faced with a situation where I am unable to have a conversation with Shelly about any of this.  At least a believable one.  I have...many, many questions and exactly zero answers.  And the things she has answered I have proven to be complete fabrications lately.  I know exactly what the answer is.  I've known it for some time.  I just don't like that answer.  So I've chosen to...ignore it.  Even in the face of overwhelming odds.  Because I know I could ramble on indefinitely about this, here's a list:

• Sex with others.  Out of the 2.5+ years we have been separated, factoring out almost the whole first year that was taken up by her obsession with Cali (which in of itself was complete and utter bullshit and I think I'll leave that to a whole separate bullet point), in other words, in roughly 20 months since I brought Todd back down for school in 2014, her mantra has been "it doesn't happen as often as you think".  True enough, there is no way short of injecting her with truth serum or some such idiocy, I'll never know.  As I have often said, what I do know is bad enough.  She met Assfucker on POF, and that happened somewhere around 2 years ago.  So she has been on there at least 2 years.  I have a feeling this has been going on the whole time.  And I have proof of at least 2 in the last 2-3 months.  One of them being SW guy.  And this...going on during a time where she doesn't feel good about herself due to her weight.  I really had leaned towards believing her.  I...don't know why.  And she has flat ass fucking lied to my face REPEATEDLY since the holidays 2015.  And this was without being quizzed.  I haven't been on POF in six months.  Got rid of the app.  I haven't had sex with anyone but you in almost 6 months.  Pure, absolute fucking bullshit.  Period.  She was having sex with at least SW guy and by her own admission, had to dump him because he fell in love with her.  WTF?  She was seeing him enough times for him to fall in love with her.  Who knows about anyone else?  She has told me one lie after another..and if she does admit to screwing someone, she describes it as a hookup...from Assfucker to SW guy.  And yet both have either tried to get her to divorce me or tell her they loved her.  And in her profile she's "looking for a relationship".  So...then, why are these just hookups?  I have a feeling they are not.  And if her profile is hidden, how do they keep finding her?  Something...smells fishy.

I've become really upset in typing this...I will be back later to finish.