On the one hand, I certainly enjoyed last week. I heard some surprising things that I thought I would never hear. Shelly telling me that she told "ass fucker" that she wasn't ready to move on because she was still in love with her husband. And after I got home, her telling me she missed me. Some of that stuff I've heard before in certain instances. Only to be told a few weeks or months later that it was a mistake. I don't know what to make of all this. I certainly want to believe. But I guess the proof is in the pudding.
I was just thinking that the more I know, the less I know. Just about everything I thought I knew isn't correct. I'm not sure I know what means what. Even now I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I figure she's going to do what she wants to do, but if she does in fact really still love me maybe there's a chance. I really have my doubts sometimes. I wonder if I am absolutely nuts to think that anything like this is still possible after almost 1.5 years. All I know is I'm going to have to do the best I can as quickly as I can and see what happens. That means I have to overcome these days where I don't do jack shit.
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