At least I came up with what could be a good plan today. Well, I remembered the idea that came to me the other day when I was driving around - but then couldn't think of it later - or sounded so silly I just couldn't believe that I had come up with something so ridiculous. The thing is, there's not much time - and even what I've come up with is a lot to ask of Mom with the way she's been acting lately. I hate to even think this way - because it doesn't make me feel good about "it" or myself at all.
The plan would be to make contact with Mom and somehow broach the whole idea about Terry and the car=good car=good for us AND Mom. Good car=more trips to see her/less stress for us. Thing of it is, we'd need that money for the house. So we'd still need to be having to come up with financing for the car somehow...and probably some kind of down payment to do that. Plus there would be the overall picture of paying Mom back. The original idea was to say something about income tax return - which obviously we won't have - and that's just another grand ol' "Robbing Peter To Pay Paul". I don't know -it's something to work on.
The damn government talks about walking off its "fiscal cliff". We damn sure walked off ours - and still falling down that cliff into a raging volcano. Believe me, I know what's happened and what's led us here - and it's about 99.9 percent my fault, one way or another. It's no secret how distressed I felt (and feel, to some extent) and trying to hide things and work out things the best way possible - while all the while making them so much worse.
I'm not quite sure if there was a specific instance or fight or what have you that led me to start feeling/acting that way last year. Probably not - a series of them over a long period of time. I certainly don't blame Michelle for going to Genares...but that was probably one of the final straws, since without the insurance it put a lot more stress on us (and more to come) for health/vision/dental...shit. At the very least, without even thinking about contacts for me (much less glasses/etc) - with my medicine(s) and Dr's visits...infrequent as they are...cost us (up to this point) at least 100+ per month on avg. And every time getting in the tracker and wondering how much longer it would hold on ...thinking about needing a car, yet how would we afford the payments much less have the credit to get it financed. Not to mention just the day to day financial struggles. Well, I could go on - but I need to do more things...and also come up with a better plan.
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