I Don't Know

I don't know a  damn thing anymore, really.  I actually feel pretty damn stupid for having sat here this long (at least the last 6 months) thinking that we were going to "work things out".  

That being said, as "stupid" as I seem to be sometimes when it comes to believing/understanding/whatever...I don't think any of the things I've seen over the past couple of months (and, in retrospect, the previous 4 months before that) lead me to believe this is going to have a happy ending.  At all.

In no particular order:

• It's been 10 weeks today since we had sex (together).  Knowing her sex drive...it has definitely not been 10 weeks for her.
• It's been a month now since she was here.  Yes, we did see her almost 2 weeks ago...but altogether  in the 5+ months since Todd came back down here for school, we have seen her a grand total of 5 times.  And 2 of those times were only for a few hours since I was up there for a Dr's appt.  We went up there in September while Bill and Kendra were gone on the "fishing trip" and she came down here for Thanksgiving and Christmas and spent the night each time.  3 fucking visits of any length of time in 5 months.  WTF?