Almost two weeks since "finding out" and various ups and downs...I'm still in a state of shock at the...callousness displayed by Shelly over the whole thing. It could be a bit much to say it's as bad as Cali or whether or not I can remember how I felt about the other ones...but...I don't know. All I know is it's bad. It's bullshit. And I'm not putting up with this shit anymore. Period. If I do, I'm just setting myself up for a repeat.
Addendum: Overall, I just feel sickened about the whole damn thing. Basically 12 days since finding out. And I don't give a flying fuck who says what about me looking through her emails. What she did by fucking Aaron was shitty. What she did with the dude from vacation was just nothing short of downright despicable.
My thoughts, of course, have always been that the path she chose (starting with Cali - or the greaser right before him) was the WRONG choice. She'd never admit that, just like she would never admit how goddamn wrong and stupid it was to fuck us all over by chasing after the lowlife scumbag Cali. She lied to me the whole year I was down here (first year) about their relationship. Lied about everything since. But this shit...the way she looks at me like I'm a goddamn idiot for expecting her not to fuck around...is just pure, unadulterated bullshit. And I am quite ready to end this shit and I'm about 99% sure it will happen. This is not me calling her bluff. It's me sick of the way she treats me and all the associated bullshit. I'm sick of it all. FUCKING SICK OF IT. And it GODDAMN FUCKING PISSES ME OFF THE WAY SHE DOES IT AND HER WHOLE ATTITUDE. I would rather walk away now than EVER deal with this shit again. And I will file. And be done with this shit. I am so...disgusted with her I could just puke.
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