How is it that what I want is even possible?
I don't really have a clue. Obviously, I haven't done a lot of "thinking" until this past week when I got back on the medicine. Of course, some could also make a case that's when I don't think. Sometimes I "think" that myself. I mean, we are 140 miles apart. I have no vehicle at all and she doesn't have one that is practical enough to drive down here. And so...due to that and the fact that several times having visits canceled due to my illness/appointment changes/etc...we didn't see each other at all for 2.5 months. Of course, we have seen each other, albeit very briefly, 3 times in the past 4 weeks. Woofuckinghoo. I just have no idea...other than what she has told me...and that is...somewhat not good anyway. Same ol' blah blah blah and everytime I hear her she is making plans for her and Todd.
Periodically, after I say something first - she will say something about missing me.
I understand.
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