Not legally, of course. But as of this moment, I officially quit trying. Regardless of anything else, I am really not surprised. At all. Especially the more I thought about this past week. Everything that has happened. And the way things were going -and the way I'm quite sure they would have gone eventually.
Was she justified? Perhaps. All that matters is she was in her eyes. Almost 4 months later, nothing had changed. They were never going to. It is a sad end to a marriage. I guess I'll be saying this quite a bit for awhile. I am not surprised. I did play a big, stupid role in it all. Especially the end. I said this right after it happened, I've said it since and I'm saying now. It wasn't necessarily wrong of me to feel the way I did about that shithead Cali. The way she went fucking nuts about him drove me goddamned crazy and humiliated me. That's why I got so pissed - but that was not the right time to do it - it backed her into a corner and made her make a bad decision. Who knows? I still would have had to get a job. Quickly. To save things - but at least I would have tried. We were never going to get back together.
Update: Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Even though not unexpected, this still hurts. As late as a week ago, probably a little more recently - I really held out some hope. But really - 4 months later, 140 miles apart and no end in sight?
And like I said - not surprised. I guess I could go through the whole "apologize" thing. But why? She doesn't even fucking care enough to try, so it's only putting off the inevitable. I find it kind of amazing how few "positive" things she had to say to me from time to time to keep me going. Actually, I guess I'm kind of flabbergasted in looking back at it, that I ever tolerated that.
Update: Thursday, January 23, 2014@ 5:08 am
I guess I am still in shock over all over this. It is finally all over for real. I cannot believe she thought I would fall for that same old bullshit.
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