This weekend marks a few things. Today makes 10 weeks since poor ol' Lucky disappeared. It also makes 10 weeks since I headed up to Fort Worth for the July 4 weekend and the last time (apparently ever) that I will ever spend time with Shelly. Because Monday it will be 10 weeks since the "You can't stalk me" incident, which led...to where we are now.
I am lost like I've never been before. The last 10 weeks...I have been worried/upset/fearful/angry...etc...but increasingly I have come to realize that this is, in fact, "it" for us. Despite Mom working just about every day the past two weeks (meaning 2-3 more days per week for me to have time to think and/or do things without interruption), I have done less and less. I remember being off the medicine for 3 months. And how badly I wanted to "turn things around" once I finally got back on it. Obviously, the opposite has happened. The realization that Shelly was "doing her thing" again and what it meant for us and how it made me feel...has somewhat devastated me.
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