The last 3 years have been a waste. What eventually happened in late September 2013 (me leaving for good except for coming back up for almost a week one week after I left at Shelly's behest to "help with Todd") was exactly the thing I was trying to avoid one year earlier (and plenty of times in between). I still left with nothing. No job, no vehicle, no son (although this would change).
From where I sit and think now, "We" are not fixable. Whatever there was has just gotten worse and will continue to get worse. Everything I thought I knew about Shelly, "Us", etc was never, ever what I thought it was or seemed to be or was as Shelly presented it. I resent her misrepresenting facts the whole time. Obviously she was doing so to benefit herself and that's the way it's always going to be. Had I known these things, obviously it WOULD have hurt me then. But I could have been done with this shit a long time ago.
- Shelly's cheating and eventual insistence that if I wanted to save the marriage, I HAD to accept Cali on the side. How goddamn selfish. I knew it was bad...but had I known the way it was going to be I never, ever would have agreed to this.
- Because I accepted her terms, I could not talk to anyone about the situation. I knew no one would ever understand and it was embarrassing. I lived with my own grief, depression, and sadness.
- Her thought process on the whole situation, insisting that she had the right to do whatever she wanted
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