I do know...all this ShellyShit™ has torn me up. I don't think it's affecting me quite as much currently, in a manner of speaking. I'm still a combination of a lot of things regarding that situation. Confused. Sad. Resentful. Upset (at times). Scared. Overall though, I'm mostly resigned to my fate. Because I know there's absolutely no way I can fix it. There are no flowers to send. No cards to make and send. No photo slideshows. No apologies to make. I'll just hear the same old thing and at best get back into the same old shit that I despise so much. And it's already fucked up my life the last three years. I can't have any more of it. I refuse to be involved in the situation as is anymore. And I know there's nothing she will do about it because she just doesn't care what happens. She has already been living her life as a single. She doesn't care about us. She is fucked up, and I can't help her because...I'm not there. And I'm not going to put up with this steaming pile of shit she helped create and certainly has done everything she can to help keep it this way. Regardless of what I do.
I've got so many freaking things to do that I can't focus on one and eliminate it and move on. Regardless of what I said above, the ShellySituation™ is always simmering somewhere right below the surface. What it is, what it's been, and apparently what it will be...is affecting me overall.
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