My Current Mindset

I say "My Current Mindset", like there's some kind of big update or I had some kind of earth-shattering, mind-numbing epiphany.  Well, no, nothing of the sort.  Not much has changed.  I do need to get my shit together.  Regardless of the ShellyScenario.  On that front, it does suck.  Regardless of what I do.  Job/No Job/whatever.  Just fucked.  What it boils down to is she doesn't give a damn enough, period.  With the exception of 2 or 3 brief periods of time that have lasted all too briefly...most of the time it's just her living her life up there while virtually ignoring and not giving a damn enough to try to be part of our lives down here.  Why?  I don't know.  I think she is fucked up.  And I've finally reached the conclusion that these "brief periods of time" are the BEST I'll ever get...regardless of how many dozens of roses I send or what kind of job I have.