First, I'd like to say I'm thankful for at least the opportunity to start overcoming this chronic absolute financial nightmare that has engulfed our lives for far too long. The ability to pull ourselves up out of this certainly lightens the load on my mind. I'm not trying to make excuses, but obviously things are improved all the way around when you don't have to deal with the all-encompassing, mind-numbing crap that has overtaken me over the past few months.
That said, a few things have crossed my mind. I was thinking last night as I was @ Krogers about how much I have hated going up there to shop for groceries the past few months because every time it was with a heavy heart, knowing we had such little cash and how in the hell were we going to make it, etc. Of course, that type of thing has been going on to some extent for some time now (for the most part), and not simply since the beginning of July when I started shopping mostly at that Krogers since it opened.
But I digress. With that going through my mind, it just kind of struck me about how it must feel to Shelly. I feel like shit because of the financial situation, etc - but she not only has to deal with that but the knowledge that she is/has been working her @$$ off but still has to deal with financial chaos. I really can't blame her when I think of it that way. I have to point out that even though that was one of those moments where a light suddenly comes on and you look at the same situation from a slightly different perspective, I have always felt that way regarding Shelly having to deal with the negative financial impact of my not working. There are so many things I deal with - guilt, feelings of worthlessness that, when it comes to that point, overwhelm me to the point of not being able to do anything about it. And so it moves on, day after day, week after week, month after month.
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