I have to admit...I feel bad about thinking the wrong things earlier. That's the same type stuff that has really gotten me in trouble before. Here I was, thinking thoughts ranging from damn near impossible to...well, I don't know. And therein lies the problem, I guess. I want her to express desire for me again. Sometimes she does...in some ways...but it's never quite like I want it to be. I feel like it's either me satisfying her desires by giving her an orgasm or her "letting me have my way with her" rather than her unleashing her animal lust on me. And we've discussed the various reasons why...and I guess that is why it kills me that I have not been able to follow through a lot of the things that I need to do.
Update: Well...after she comes home about 2:20 am or so, see the above bold print. All over again. I'm not blaming anyone, except myself perhaps. It's kind of the same old story. Fuck, get up she goes to sleep...and that's the way it has to be here I guess. The obligatory fuck/shoot/lick to orgasm then go our separate ways. It kills me sometimes. Sure, I think we can fix up the game room for Todd. Sure, I think he can be convinced to go in there...but will that change anything?
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