Well, I Must Say...

that describing me as "nervous" right now would be the understatement of the year.  Crapping my pants would be a lot more accurate.  There are no excuses...and yet I do know what led me here and what things had been like for me up until about 2 weeks ago.  There was/is no more "extra" support to be expected from Mom.  Forever?  Who knows.  At least for the time being.  It might be making excuses...but recovering from the "blindside" of 7 weeks ago and wanting to do everything in my power to make sure I didn't have to say "no" to anything...well, that's what led us here.  I hope at the very least that I can deposit her check into AA savings without any holds and be able to transfer out to Ing Direct/Serve/Whatever...without fear of the account be closed down or frozen or some shit.  Optimally, I would love for Shelly's AA card to still work...but I have my doubts about that.  I just have to move forward and do the best I can.  And take a lot of Xanax, apparently.