The ? is because I've probably used this title for posts more times than I can count. If I haven't, it's only because I've at least thought that way numerous times.
I really have no delusions. There's been more than enough time to figure this out. And it ain't even close to being figured out. I have my own opinions why. I blame her. And perhaps that's not right, but I can't help but feel I'm closer to being right about this than she is. The only thing that matters is that we can't seem to work things out, for whatever reason. I know what she thinks about me. And to some extent she is right. But she sure put me in a shitty spot to try to become a provider. And she's made me feel that no matter what I do, nothing will ever be relevant. And I've heard so many different things I can't help but think that it's true.
I don't want to hear "I don't know what I want"...that it's a "small step" or "dating/screwing other people" or "I don't do as much as you think" "I have sooo many men over here". I don't care. One is too many.
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