What To Think?

I've said it many times recently.  Regardless of anything else, there are numerous signs that either I've ignored or were somehow willing to overlook that pointed to things just not working out between us.  The most obvious ones to me are:

• Numerous lies about things going on and me only finding out long after the fact that things other than what she said were going on.  Meaning hookups/fuckings/not to mention Cali the Extended edition that went on from the time I left October 2013 until April 2014.  And then continued in some unspecified way in some form or another until July of 2014.  Now, she did say that he broke things off March?  Because he was getting married but she still went after him until April.  And the last thing was the "yelling at him while he fixed her car" in July 2014.  This event as it unfolded...was enough to fucking piss me off royally. She can't explain this away and she lied to me the whole goddamn time.  This is the best example of her saying she lied to me "for your own good".  Yeah, well...don't be so good to me next time (if there is a next time).  I've told her many times that if this is going to happen, I deserve better than to be lied to about it.  Because she's messing with my life when she does this and affecting my ability to make a call on whether I want to be involved in this shit anymore at any given time due to things like this.  And HAD I KNOWN, I wouldn't have gone on to waste a lot of the last 16 months or so...starting with June 2014 when I took Todd home for the summer and she was the one that suggested we should "work things out".  Stupid me, as much as I've pounded home the fact that I would never put up with that shit again, I assumed when she said she wanted to work things out that she wasn't going to be doing that shit anymore.  I thought it was understood that two people trying to reconcile a marriage don't do that shit.  It wasn't until a few months later when she started acting different that I even bothered to ask.  And then she fucking LIED to me and said no she wasn't seeing anyone and wasn't planning on it.  LIE.  She was getting fucked in Assfucker's hot tub...and within a month or so of this she was screwing Fireman.  I found out about Fireman by logging into her FB account.  I didn't know about Assfucker until the night of our 20th anniversary.  She spilled the beans about him while drunk that night.  Like many other times, I processed the information that night but didn't say anything.  I knew I didn't like it, but it wasn't until I got home and started thinking about it that I realized the enormity of what she had done.  She had admitted to screwing assfucker during the time where we were supposedly "working things out".  And things went downhill after that.  Whatever ability I had to even try to trust her after that was gone.  And to this day she doesn't understand why I got upset about it.   Or doesn't care.  
• The second thing...probably has something to do with the first.  Todd and I SHOULD be the two most important people in her life.  Excluding the times that she and I are really on the outs, you would think that she would want to actually see and spend time with the people in her life that are the most important.  Except...I guess neither one of us really are, because she's never bothered to see either one of us more often than about every 6 weeks since Todd's been down here.  Over a year.  And in the meantime, she seems to be quite happy with going here and there to concerts/festivals/state fairs/comedy clubs/bars with anyone.  That, to me, shows she really doesn't give much of a flying fuck about either one of us.  If we meant as much as we're supposed to her...there is no goddamn way she could "act" that happy while doing all that shit nor could she go that long without seeing us.  Doesn't that fucking say something to you?  Isn't it obvious?  Do I need to be hit over the fucking head with stick to make me understand?  I shouldn't...not after this shit.