After 3 weeks plus of thinking/rethinking...hashing/rehashing...at various times being disgusted, more pissed off than I have ever been, sad, depressed...etc, for some reason as I was cleaning off the porch for Mom, I reached a different conclusion. That I didn't want to give up. At least for now. Surprisingly so.
Most times over the past three weeks I was limited to thinking something like "It doesn't even matter what I think, because she has demonstrated time and time again that she doesn't give a shit about me and hasn't for some time. I sincerely doubt there is anything I can or will ever be able to do to change her mind and thus, the inevitable". That is still very true. And I may change my mind later today or tomorrow or whatever. Who knows?
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