This wasn't quite what I had in mind when I sent her the email about divorce. Obviously, she seems to think it's a stunt of some sort...something I will get over. Another "overreaction". Or she just doesn't care. I don't know which. True enough, I don't know for sure how "deep" the Cali thing went - but it seems to have run very deep, at least on her side. That's my opinion. And that's besides the fact that she just flat out fucking lied to me for months. At least 4 months. While sending me repeated "I did nothing to deserve this" texts and chastising me at the very least for "starting trouble", "giving her shit" or whatever. Making me believe that it was indeed over and she was basically just "hard working Shelly". To what extent that is bullshit, I have no idea. I'll never be able to go on anything other than her word. Which has meant exactly ZERO for the last month since I found out. It makes me think the worst of her. And if it was only him, that's STILL bad enough.
I have to admit, I was hoping that I would be able to convince her I was serious this time. I am. She has given me absolutely no good reason to care, to want to stay married at all, etc. After 8 fucking months. 8 goddamn fucking months of this shit. And somehow I am supposed to be ok with this? I got the impression that the only time she mentioned us "working through this" was after Cali supposedly "broke up" with her. Not to mention the overall premise I have been working on all along - that she was just as responsible for what happened as I, yet I get all the blame. So she goes on blaming me and keeping me down here.
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