I'm sure this will be quite the rambling post. Here I sit, the final day to try to do something before this ticket shit gets turned into a warrant. Could things get any horribly worse? I really, really, REALLY don't want to find out. One thing after another, shit hanging over my head. Mistakes made, life swirling down the big fucking toilet.
This is one aspect of my life that I absolutely despise. It's probably always been around - it just seems to rear its ugly head when things get terribly out of control (kinda like lately). It's not even having the courage to look at the damn ticket. Opening Google Drive to work on a spreadsheet because you just know it sucks and sucks bad, you just don't want to know how bad because once you do, the downward spiral will get worse quickly. At least if you don't know, you can fantasize that a nice sweeps win or something will come in. Obviously the last line is not the way I want it to be, but holy fucking shit.
I keep thinking about mistakes - especially (duh!) the most recent ones like the disposal of the extra momcheck/tax refund/etc...thinking how stupid it was to EVER send that fucking 255.00 for HOA. Up to that point Shelly had been pushing/pushing and stupidly I had not sent it. Ever since then (and I don't even know for sure that it was received in time to ever activate the card/etc - they haven't been to the freaking pool one time. Not once. I think sometimes specifically about that, the 100+ Todd blew on games, our night out drinking a few weeks ago. To name a few.
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