I don't know. Maybe I am. Perhaps I lost it a long time ago. I don't know.
I
was looking back at what started this week and how it evolved into
something so horrible. I know it started late Monday night after Shelly
started drinking and gave me "30 days notice". Nothing really new
there. She's said similar things before - I don't know that she's ever set a time limit, but I'm not sure that's the point. I've kinda known this was coming. And it's not that I disagree with her about a need to provide income. It still made me feel bad, though. And then the next day she didn't bother to communicate with me at all, leading to my smartass remarks that night - which led to bad feelings on both sides. It just went downhill from there.
Update: 7/19/2013 @ 6:41 am
Looking back, I feel like such a goddamn shit. I guess because I am. Is there any other way to describe it? Yes, I feel helpless. Overwhelmed. I look at myself and don't know who the hell I am anymore. I look at us and I don't know who the hell we are anymore.
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