Sometimes I wonder how it all came to where it is now. Similarly, perhaps anything and everything that happened in 2012 leading up to September - and everything since then.
Perhaps it's too bad I started a post like this on a day where I will come nowhere near the tip of the iceberg - much less finishing it - or coming up with any meaningful answers.
However, it's meaningful to me as I near my 50th birthday. It's things like what happened Sunday and the result. I'm lucky I'm still around to write this, I guess. I think, in some ways, I "lucked" out because I don't think she really had any place to go. A lot of that is my fault. Fucked up credit. Broke. Brings up a lot of unanswered questions. I remember thinking earlier - if I had cleaned up our credit a long time ago like I had wanted, would it have even mattered by now? Surely it would be screwed up again, regardless of desire to keep it better. Not if you don't have the resources.
That's one of the things (amongst many) that have bothered me over the years. I've never had enough credit to even get a decent fucking car on my own, although we did finance the Tracker at a freakin' outlandish 18-21 percent or some such crap in 2001. Got a few gas cards after that, at which time I fucked those up. Responsibility is one thing.
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