Saturday, March 16, 2013

This Weekend

Well, I'm not quite sure what I will accomplish this weekend.  Obviously there are many, many things on my plate that NEED to be accomplished.  I have been at this point many times and thought "THIS is the time I will put it all together" - but to no avail.  Does it matter that this time is the most important of all?  We'll see, I guess.

*Updated 3/16/2013 @ 4:48 pm*

One problem, although perhaps I can't blame everything on this, is my freakin' damn eyes.  Hurting and blurry/watering more than before.  So far, practically nothing done.

I'm kind of depressed with her going to see the C-man.  I don't think it has virtually anything to do with that particular "act" as much as simply the rest of the things going on in our life overall, especially my part in them.  Specifically why they happened and for all the things that I've wanted to do - how much I really haven't done that I needed to do.  It's a long complicated story so it won't be written now.  Soon perhaps.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is this: 

  • Yes, I understand her point(s).  I know this wasn't the case in the beginning and/or I didn't want to believe it or understand it.
  • Not necessarily about this incident - in fact, not really at all (as far as I know) - I want to get mad about it.  Really this includes length of time and/or doing things (both of us) with other people.  Sometimes I get mad, sometimes I don't.  Since everything has "come out", I've tended not to - for the same reaons I didn't before.  I don't have a leg to stand on - at least not much of one - at least not now.   And that's my bad - and it's only gotten worse.
  • I either have to believe it or find some reason why she would come up with such an excuse.  We've argued about it quite a few times.  In this particular case,  (long ago) I tried to come up with some kind of valid reason why she would want to hang around and came up with some ideas (Toddles being upset/keeping both parents for Todd)/The house/Feeling sorry for me) some kind of make sense but I really don't think she would stoop to that.

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