Gee...why is that? Well...I haven't done much of anything. I guess that's because I haven't felt like doing much of anything. Various reasons...up to and including BS from VWS, knowing that I'll have to ask Mom for copies of her checks and all shit that includes. Thinking about the IRS and how I made that mistake. Thinking about Shelly today and everything. It's everything I've done, especially over the past few months. Thinking of hiding all that shit on top of everything else.
I don't know. I used to variously be turned on to somewhat not even caring...but I think I know what one of the big differences is. That was in the beginning. 6 months ago. When I thought something different...when I thought there were possibilities of change. Some of this I have brought on myself. I mean, who would've thunk giving myself less of a leg to stand on than before? I mean, I didn't hink that was even possible. But it was and is. Now I know it will be Shelly goes out and fucks and has her fun and then comes home and "performs" whatever she needs to perform to get through that day, getting nothing from me. It might not be exactly like that, but it's not anywhere close to what I thought it would be. So yeah, this sucks.
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