It's Very Clear To Me

That this is done.  Kaput.  Over.  Finis.  The sooner I accept it, the better.  Every time I think about it, I just get more upset.  I don't want to dwell on it but I can't seem to help myself.  I wonder how in the fucking hell I have ever put up with this bullshit for this long.  The lies.  Outright deception.  I've seen it unfold before my very eyes and hated the very nature of it for so long...but I keep being sucked in through various guilt trips.  But I just can't stand this anymore.  There is no reason to stand for it anymore.  There is nothing I can do and nothing I can ever do to change it.  Not a job...which, at this point, really is a fantasy I think.  But whatever.