Some Things That I Realize

Now that it's finally done for good, I have a lot of thoughts floating around.  Mostly anger at Shelly for everything she's done and the way she has gone about it - and you can break that down into 3 categories:

• Basically the last year, (June 2014-Now) when she was the one to approach me about "working things out"
• Since I left Ft Worth for good (Early October 2013, although I technically left late Sept 2013 and came down here for a week, came back for a week at her request to "help with Todd" prior to a Dr's appt and then left after a huge fight)
• Since Sept 2012, when I first found out about the cheating

I want to kick myself for letting it drag out this long...I can't see why in the hell I ever let this happen.  Especially with all the things she did (That I knew about at the time and things I found out later).  I'm just kind of flabbergasted.  I ask myself since the last week or so has been so horrible as I realized what was going on and how it was going to end - how in the fuck did I put up with this for so long and why?  Well, obviously...there have been a lot of times it HAS indeed been horrible.  But for the most part I've been able to handle it.  More thoughts later.