It's Hard To Say

I think...absolutely, positively, assuredly - the past month has been one of the most horrible of my life.  Having to give the Sentra back and the transition into driving two uninspected, untagged vehicles...PLUS having to cart Jolene's silly ass around because she was texting and driving and crashed it.  The call from WFHM informing of the loan mod denial the same day that we had to take the Sentra back on 4/11/13 - that day will live in infamy as one of the worst days of my life.  All in all, the last 7 weeks have been a stream of constant fighting with Shelly's mood swings due to uncertainty about the house and the aforementioned un-inspected and un-tagged vehicles.

Even with getting the medicine this week (Wednesday, 5/8/13) - I've hardly been able to focus on the important tasks at hand.  Namely - that is making sure I have explored every option available to save our house, while having to deal with our "vehicles" issue(s) and various other things.  It's almost as if I was watching my life and marriage crumble around me, and yet I couldn't pull myself together to do whatever is necessary.  Walking around through the house - wondering if I will still be here (one way or another) after early July.

Update:  5/12/13@ 12:10 am

Crazy would hardly be the term to accurately describe this nightmare of the past few months.  Generally speaking, at least since 3/22 - the last time we have been to Bronson Rock (saw Vegas Stars that night).  That means 7 weeks - but we had been fighting a lot more even before then (since the "Jacuzzi Suite Incident" of late January - (which is when we began discussing it - didn't actually happen until February 1). 

I was just thinking again today that it's all perspective - but a lot of the last 1.5 years has been like this, mostly due to financial issues which finally put the screws to us so bad that Shelly "cheated"..etc etc.  Anyway - I digress.    What I was actually thinking about earlier this evening was the fact that I used to gripe about my life and how the last 9 years has been wasted - which it has - but shit - some of that stuff was NOTHING compared to the past 2-4 months (if not 8 months).  So bad that it's given me stroke level bp

At any rate - this has certainly not been any example of the life I want to live.  Wondering almost daily if your wife is going to leave you due to this stuff going on (not to mention our various associated fights about it and especially how it relates to the "agreement").  It has been nothing short of the biggest clusterfuck I have ever been associated with