Utterly Complete Clusterfuck...And Other Random Thoughts

Well, yesterday was a rather complete clusterfuck after doing my due diligence on Chapter 13.  I do need to do some more research into it and people's experiences and probably at least talk to the people at that one place I emailed.  Don't want to have the wrong idea about it

At this point - we have three options/things to do/whatever.

• Waiting on the decision of the appeal - I wish we had talked to the lady - although in the end, there really wasn't much we could do with "new" documentation at the time based on the information we had.  Now, I wish we had included the "Jolene" information as well as  new (reduced) expenses.  I don't know why I didn't think of something like that - although I was so torn up/depressed/dealing with other stuff I sure as hell wasn't thinking straight.  We are going to do that anyway - through NACA or that loan mod place recommended by loansafe.org - but it would have been better/easier if it had been thought of at the time.
• If I had known they weren't going to include Mom's income, more thought could have been put into coming up with alternative sources (like the "Jolene" income).  Plus, I think it's reasonable that our expenses could have been reduced by having a 3 person household instead of 4.
• One way or the other - if we can possibly get a loan mod through the new info or qualify for Ch 13 based on our income/expenses one way or the other - it won't be easy.  The easiest route for us to have is if we somehow got a loan mod approved and it lowered payments again- but either way, we are sitting right on the bubble as far as "break even" - and that puts us right back in the position we were before - which means I have to start providing an income as soon as all that gets done - assuming it gets done.  Otherwise nothing will ever change and we will constantly be broke and fighting and it won't last long.
• Obviously, our lack of money management/budgeting has always hindered us.  I would hate to think of how much money we have just fucking wasted for no good reason, other than the fact that we (I) were to stupid to make a budget and stick to it.    And that's not even talking about money spent on tangible things that we either still have or at least had for awhile or trips or gambling or anything.  Just the money flushed down the toilet.