In thinking about negative things at this time - although it's hard not to. There are things I like about Shelly's sexuality - obviously her horniness is nice (whenever she's horny around me) - but things she says when she's drunk - even though it turns me on - like she mentally undresses all the guys she finds attractive and wonders what it would be like to have their dick inside of her. I'm not against "sharing" at this time - although I haven't gotten much out of it - but I wonder if we can ever be whole again. I don't know if this is a phase she's going through because of her weight loss/age/our marriage problems/ or whatever. But let's face it. Sooner or later (and it's gonna have to be MUCH sooner - I have to give her a reason for staying and being with me. Otherwise she will either leave to find someone else or leave because she HAS found someone else.
At this time, I certainly regret the things I have done the last 8 months. Shit. 8 months since the "discovery" and "reconciliation". But - I'm not going to go over all that again. At this point, I really wonder sometimes exactly what IS going on in her mind. I have to admit - I don't know.
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