Today's been really bad. Feeling awful about all the stuff over the weekend. Looking ahead and like always, wondering why in the hell I have to have all this other stuff piled on top of me and...God. How am I going to do this. Especially down there? How am I going to be able to survive? Especially down there? And what about up here????
I think it almost sums it up best, if that is possible, to say that I'm always thinking of it, always aware of it. When we are together and doing stuff, of course I think of it less. It's nights like the past two that kill me. She's not here, out doing other stuff with other people. I want to think that she'll miss me. God this hurts.
It upsets me sometimes that she thinks it just has to be this way and no other way is possible at all. Why
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