Kind of a strange thought just occurred to me. Just as I was thinking about "things" and the often abstract thought of "leaving".
Right now, would I go if had any real choices? Meaning, if I had a job/income/friends - in short, a life outside of Todd & Shelly? And what about September? Would I have left then if I had any real options? That one's a tough call. I am who I am because of what I have or don't have.
I would say that any overwhelming optimism (if I ever really had that???) is no longer present. I'm not quite sure how I feel - but I guess it really doesn't matter. In my/our current situation, despite fights and threats and perceptions on both sides (be it real or imagined), I'm not sure it's in either of our best interests to leave. I don't know that I really see it getting much better in the short term - maybe even long term. If I thought I didn't want to talk about things that bothered me before, what about now? Now that I've been basically told that I'm the root cause of Shelly's "illness"/almost killed her/whatever....yeah. I can really look forward to that next discussion where it is prefaced by "all the stress I cause" blah blah blah. Not that any of our discussions ever worked out in my favor anyway, right?
No comments:
Post a Comment