Sunday, April 28, 2013

Sometimes, Even I Don't Get It

But then again, sometimes I do.  I'm quite sure that the blowup this morning had a lot to do with the buildup overnight.  I'm scared, sad, nervous, jealous - etc.  I don't tend to understand a lot sometimes.  Sometimes I put what I think are 2 and 2 together and they come up with 5.

To put it another way, yes.  I'm tired of hearing about Cali.  Most men wouldn't but up with it, I think.  I've made my mistakes and I sold out to keep my marriage alive and try to repair it.  I don't know if it will work but I'm still trying.  I realize I've made many mistakes over the years.  I don't know why for a lot of them - but I regret them and all I can do is strive to overcome them.  In this agreement, which in the beginning had a lot to do with Cali himself, it was every two weeks.  If asked, I usually agree to in between times.  If I give - why can't I get?  I let her see him sooner than that sometimes, yet when I have a question or problem with a given situation in that "relationship"  I just get flat out told "that's the way it is, that's the way it's gonna be".

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