An escape plan, if you will. Something that would give me some options should it get so bad and/or unreasonable I can no longer stay. The very thought of it just fucking nauseates me, I assure you. To think about being here, worrying and trying to resolve house/car issues while she's out fucking god knows what and I don't get any...and that any "escape" plan means that I have to not only rip up my heart but my son's as well...it does sicken me. Anything soon would be what?
Obviously that would be my goal - have some kind of exit strategy. I'm quite sure she does by now. As many times as we've fought...if she did have a history on the computer, I wonder what it would read?
Regardless - I'm not saying it would be pleasant at all. I can't even bear to think about it. But I really need to come up with something better than something as vague as hauling shit down to a truck with no tags and no inspection and heading for ? Yeah. Right. And when I got to ? <<<===first possibly Joe's for a day or two and then Mom's. WTF? I swear I would be going crazy, sad and depressed where ever I was. And that is one of my big problems. I have NOTHING but them. No friends, no job, no nothing. That doesn't mean I don't love them - but...holy fucking shit. It is horrible to comprehend. I know families split up all the time and it's tough on everyone - but I can't bear to think of it. It's just terrible.
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