I'm Thankful - But

I guess I deserve what happened - or almost happened - yesterday.  I'll probably get distracted again and completely miss the point of this post, which is to show I am thankful we're still married and that Shelly has a valid reason/argument for doing/acting the way she has towards me - and I just didn't get it for some reason.  And more stuff - like the "troubles" ain't over yet.

Of course - all of this really started in January before Shelly even knew about the house problem - and to some extent, even though I might be the source of the problem over the long haul - if she wants to accept me, she's got to give me time to work through some of this stuff.

The roots of all this go back to January and that damn hot tub party that I wasn't invited to - but that isn't even the point any more.  It had started awhile back, not going to go into specifics here - but we just weren't doing stuff like VC or anything anymore.  I think it has a lot to do with Cali.

But ever since the double whammy of two weeks ago, when we had to give back the car thanks to not being able to get it financed - not to mention getting the initial turndown on the loan mod the SAME DAY we had to take the car back - son of a bitch.  I just didn't put two and two together.

See - I'm going to skip a few things to get to the point.  I could go into a lot more detail about the above but won't so I can get to the rest.

• Am I stupid or what?  I see now I should have backed off due to the car stuff/house stuff - as bad as it hurts me, I understand the way she feels
• Loan Mod - I know unless they either let in Mom's income or we can modify stuff (increase income/lower expenses - we won't get approved and I just shiver at the thought
• Fucking Vows - I guess I was too damn late