Five Weeks

Yesterday marked 5 weeks since "The Incident".  A lot of what has happened since then has been bittersweet.  What's been great has been a "rediscovery" of my wife.  I cherish these moments.  There have been big events or happenings...and some smaller things that can be almost equally fulfilling.  There's also been a lot of mixed signals...and/or miscommunications.  Some of the things that have meant the most to me, in no particular order except  for the first:

• Dinner @ Oliva's then the Dennis DeYoung concert.  I've said several times this is perhaps hands down the best time I've ever had with Shelly, whenever.  Just made more special at this time.  Even more special seeing as how I was almost trying to get out of it.  To be honest, I was very worried about our finances (like I have been almost constantly), but was also trying to be nice to let her take Jill to the concert.  I'm glad I didn't.  I thoroughly enjoyed the concert and our time there.
• The UFC trip.  An opportunity to spend a lot of quality alone time...we also spent a lot of time socializing and that was fun.
• Ranger game - our first outing together since the incident.  Very special time.
• Walking together on the track by our old house in Watauga
• Cowboy game
• Bronson Rocks

What has hurt is the constant up and down...multiple times the same day.  There will be times where I'm having the best IM session ever and feel on top of the world, then something will be said or I will think of something that just hurts.  And just about any time that I have tried to explain my feelings or a situation or why I feel that way...and she doesn't get it.

Along these lines...the anxiety I feel all the time sucks...caused by both my insecurities and our finances.  I hope that this disability thing works out...