It's Kind Of Funny

It's kind of funny...other than last Saturday night/early Sunday morning 10/13 - 10/14, I can't remember really kind of "paying attention" when she went to see the C-Man.  Of course, they've all been kind of different.  Tonight is officially C-Man 3, although there was the unofficial C-Man visit last weekend, which makes a total of 4.  I guess last weekend really doesn't count, since I didn't know until much later that she was going to see him and then I was pissed (not really for good reasons).

The first time was just 2 days after the return from Florida.  It kind of resembles this one, if only because that time I went around and bought the wine, made sure she had everything she needed for the visit; this time I offered $$ for the hotel to ensure she had someplace to fuck.  The first time, for some reason, I was more relaxed.  In fact, I slept part of the evening and all night.  Perhaps in part due to the fact I was so exhausted after the previous week's events.  This time, I was really on board, and still am...although I really wonder how it's going.  My guess would be quite wild, as a matter of fact.  "Makeup sex" blah blah blah.  I just hope there isn't something going on in his mind.  I trust Shelly, I really do.  I know in some ways...I don't have a choice but to trust her and I have no doubts she has no "other" ambitions with him.  I just hope she wouldn't keep something important from me because she really doesn't know how I will react in a given situation.  I've made sure of that - quite unintentionally, but still...you have to wonder about a guy that insists on monogamy even though it's a purely sexual relationship that is really just a fling.  Shelly thinks what he said the other day is proof that he has no other intentions...and that's really what he SAID in the email...and also the way he treated her the other day does not suggest someone who's madly in love with someone.  Still....

Update:  I kinda know why I feel the way I do tonight...although it's really kind of silly.  This is really only the third "planned" outing with the C-Man.  Out of those three, the first one I pretty much slept through.  The second was the big shit a mere 2.5 weeks ago. although it seems like a lifetime.  In that one, she at least was messaging me.  I know why she really can't and it's stupid for me to look for something like that.  Hell, I won't even see her for about 23 hours...I have a feeling it's going to be a long 23 hours...