Interesting Morning

What a morning.  For some reason, a new song that I like - "Hall Of Fame" by The Script w/Will.i.am, seems not only to make me cry, but just sob uncontrollably.  I doesn't have any negative connotations at all...I have heard it twice while Shelly and I were fucking in the past week...but it just somehow put a depressive spin on things...and really wept uncontrollably while thinking about the time I went to pick up Todd from school 10/2 after we had been fighting and she was gone to the hotel and I just knew I was leaving.  I knew in my heart I was, I was just sick.  As I sat there waiting, he was going across the crosswalk looking all happy, unaware what I would be telling him and doing within several hours.  That was the time he cried after I told him and locked himself in the bathroom, after locking the bedroom door.  I was so numb I couldn't even cry myself...but I did today.  And I thought about how wrong I was and how selfish it was to do that, not only to him but Shelly.  Especially after all the other things I haven't done for him.