Surprised. Very Surprised

Well, apparently I was very wrong.  And I feel very bad about it.

Last night Shelly came home. She fucked me even though she was exhausted.  I was not upset that perhaps I wasn't going to be getting any, but...I don't know, I do kind of feel cheated sometimes even though I have more sex than ever.  I guess the thing is if we're going to do this, trust, caring and communication are the most important things.  I wanted to be "big" about it and not say anything if I hadn't gotten any.  But it did kind of bother me.  It shouldn't have, and I will definitely take into account her feelings and situation next time.  It's the right thing to do.

That's not the only thing.  And that's the confusing part.  She said she started to fuck that guy even though she didn't really want to because she thought she better go ahead, lest I turn off the "unlimited cock flow at some time".  How strange.  I must admit, I consented...at first maybe because that's what she had thought we had agreed upon.  I first asked that it not happen cuz I was getting all torn up about shit constantly and not being able to concentrate on what I needed to do.  She agreed, then I thought about it and told her to go ahead, as a matter of fact, kick it up a notch for awhile and just get down and dirty and sow some wild oats.  But for her to say that...basically she was willing to "turn it off" if that's what I wanted...I almost had the impression that she wanted it and was kind of distressed if she didn't have it.

This is the type of thing where if I had gotten mad again and left...I would have been wrong.