But in reality...I guess I couldn't expect more, really.
Some things are obvious: I need to get shit taken care of (health-bp/glasses truck legal/warrants) and get a job. I have no idea, really. Mentally, I'm a basket case. I'm not sure if I should just make it easier on myself and accept reality and go to Mom's or what? If possible, I'd somehow like to at least try somehow. I don't know how it's going to go.
However, there really are no guarantees. What we have now (possibly) is better than what she said it was going to be like. I have to hope that I can pull myself together and stay married. Will that happen? I don't know. It depends on at least 2 things: Me getting my shit together, and how Shelly feels. The second won't matter if I don't take care of the first, but I could take care of the first and the second not make a difference.
From here on out - in some ways - how will this be different? Except for the fact we won't be together every night - we hardly were anyway.
Sometimes I have more questions than answers. Most times I do. Even when I have the questions answered, it brings up more questions.
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