I hate Siobhan perhaps more than I should. Michelle's choices and decisions have been her own. I just hate the way she sticks her nose into our life. Utterly despise it.
Overall, I am just...completely and utterly confused by Shelly and her attitude towards everything. I know she has more than her share of anger and resentment towards me about the years not working, and ultimately now blames me and it on losing the house. Which to some extent is true - although ultimately is was our fight on the eve of filing bk and her decision which actually led to it. And her refusal to believe what actually contributed a lot to my inability to job search over the last year doesn't help. It just goes to show there is nothing we can discuss or argue about right now that will change things. Maybe never. I just can't see anything working out in my favor. I just can't. I haven't to this point in three weeks of discussing it and won't whenever I leave and...I just don't know.
And I don't know what it would take for me to be able to find a decent job. Before or now. Even less so now. I do know there's no hope for me until I have a job and whatever else. And by then I don't know if there will be anything to save. If there ever was. I have no clue what's going through her mind other than the few things I'm sure of.
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