Man, I Was Scared (And Still Am)

Of course, that title is a bit misleading.  I like the way things got cleared up today.  I was genuinely scared that they would not.  In fact, I was almost convinced they would not.  And the fact remains that everything that led up to the battle Saturday/Sunday last week that led us to losing the house sucks.   And I tell you what - I could spend forever analyzing how we got there and things of that nature - and the simple fact of the matter is this:  we are homeless now..and sometime in the near future I won't have anyplace to go except Mom's.  While that may be beneficial in some regards - things have changed dramatically and it's a whole new ballgame moving forward.  It's going to be difficult.  However, the warm glow created after shelly said she missed and loved me after this week is the type of thing we'll need to have/share and build on, especially during that time.  The real positive will be perhaps saving up a couple of months worth of funds (me and shelly).  I'd also add the following:

• Investigate the need and cost and benefit of doing Chapter 7.  I'm pretty sure this will be necessary and  beneficial.
• Budgeting
• Add more important info here

Although I don't want to beat a dead horse, make no mistake - I think what happened - leading up to that and the event and its aftermath - obviously sucked.  The whole way it came down - then as we came together afterwards and then just fell apart totally before today.   Scary, no matter how you think about it.  I still get chills.  And I sure as shit am going to miss amenities here.  It's up to us to take advantage of the financial aspects and use this to get on down the road.  We have struggled for so long and it would have taken a herculean effort.  I sure didn't like the path and would have ever chosen it, but this could work out to benefit us.


Note:  It kind of goes without saying, but it still bears repeating:  The last week was hell to go through.  Shoot, just the house part would have been overwhelming, but the ups and downs of our battles throughout the week and a couple of days of almost sure resignation that it was "over"...now that's the kind of stuff that will open your eyes.  It's a rough thing to go through.  The most horrible time I've had in my life.  It's hard for me to sit here and think about living apart, and then hopefully back together in a few months - even though the potential to help us turn our lives around is great, it's only good if we make good use of the time, save money, start getting shit done (as well as job stuff for me).

Update:  Sunday, August 11, 2013

In addition to thinking about the whole surreal way this thing went down and the sadness in still living in a house that you know you won't be in soon...and how that the intent had been to save it but then things went horribly wrong...there are a lot of memories here.  Strangely enough, or perhaps not, I don't know - the first thing that popped into my head was the bad memory of almost one year ago.  Other than that, mostly good ones:

• The neighborhood as it was when we first moved in and probably for the first 2-3 years.  Full of kids Todd's age who came over here a lot.  Hell, he even played outside more.
• The overall excitement of moving in to a nice new big place in a nice neighborhood.
• Having Sandy and the kids here.  Obviously, there was a lot of issues with them back then, but there were good ones as well
• This being a gathering spot pretty much for the holidays
• The several huge snowstorms here.
• And more