I Know, I Know

I feel like such an idiot - like someone who just never dated much or like I was back in High School again.

For one thing - I'm not sure I misunderstood yesterday - but it's the same thing regardless.  It's like earlier in the week when I thought we were pulling together despite this and then heard different things.  It's because of the whole situation.  It has freaked us both out.  There will be ups and downs and it's just tough.  I need to be the best I can be, regardless of what I think the possible outcomes are in the future.

In no way, shape, form or fashion can I imagine that whatever I can do in the immediate future could ever make up for anything, much less house and all that other stuff.  But I need to be the better man and do everything I can now and in the future.  There will be times where I don't know how I will be able to go on - but go on I must or I die.  I'm sure I'm going to want to feel that way many times.  I need to somehow work through it like I've never been able to before.  And that still may never be enough.