I don't know what to think or do. It's all been based on various ups and downs, crossed signals. There's no doubt this has been heavily emotional. Both of us up and down, dealing with the complete and total devastation of this ordeal. It's hard to know what to do and what to think about anything. I certainly put the cart before the horse a lot of times. I don't know where I'm going to live, what I'm going to do. Can't figure out what makes sense.
Before I was thinking about having "x" amount of time up here and that's still partially true - other thing is Meds - if I'm lucky I have through one week from today.
I'm more confused and lost than I ever was. I need to focus while I still have time. There's no telling how things will work on any level - but I'd prefer somehow to do as much as I can while I'm still up here and try to cover a lot of bases. On the other hand, I wonder how much of that is even possible due to circumstances. I don't want to sit here and basically flock my dong but...I couldn't get things done other times - how can I now? What can I expect?
I'm just ...all over the place. Picture if you will still needing to accomplish a lot of things - getting a job/getting my health taken care of/proving myself - but now homeless, under shitload more pressure than ever..
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