Above and beyond everything else, I was just thinking. One of my big things to overcome (and also the BIG problem in the years leading up to the cheating and thus everything bad over the last year) is my lack of a job. 26 years ago this month I came up here looking for my first major job after college. What I hated about job searching then still applies now, although it's worse. Now I have a 9+ year hole on my resume to fill, I'm 50 years old, and whatever else. I've said this many times and I guess I'll say it a few thousand more times between now and the time I actually get a job and keep one for awhile. I hate whatever it is that makes me the way I am about job searching/change/newness/adapting...I've always hated it. It has made my life hell, and it's affected my marriage over the years and now it could very well end it. What else is there to fucking say about it???
And what else is there to say about Shelly's attitude? From completely blaming me about jobs/housing whatever...her quality of life...statements about me "stepping up my game" in response to cheating/being called a lousy lover/etc and virtually having her foot on my jugular the whole time til now and still never backing off.
No comments:
Post a Comment